What to write memoirs about
What the Best Memoirs Have in Common: Tips for Writing Your Story
hi my friend so many aspiring authors
come to me for advice on writing memoir
telling your story telling about a
particularly difficult time in your life
telling about your childhood whatever it
might be we are called as human beings
to share our stories with others and I
wanted to talk to you about what the
best memoirs of all time all have in
common because I think it's something
that's invisible if you haven't actually
been an editor of books and you haven't
worked on memoir which I have so I also
want to tell you about a few of my
favorite memoirs so that's what this
video is going to be about my name is
Kelly note Aras I have been a book
editor for 20 years I've worked at some
of the biggest publishing companies in
the United States and now my goal is to
help you get the book you were born to
write into the world subscribe to this
YouTube channel
I leave videos here all the time you can
also visit me on the web at kn literary
com
all right what are the elements that the
best memoirs of all time have in common
well the truth is there are two of them
the first one is that those memoirs are
character driven and the second one is
that they are written in scenes so these
are two things that I think are
invisible to people who don't really
understand how books are put together
many of us think well I'm gonna write my
story I'm gonna start at the beginning
maybe it's the beginning of our life but
maybe it's just the beginning of the
period of time that I want to write
about and they're like I want to start
at the beginning and I'm gonna tell you
what happened first and second and third
and what I noticed when I look back in
hindsight that I didn't notice at the
time that now I see and it's a chronicle
that is really different than a memoir a
chronicle is actually sometimes very
important it's very useful and valid
it's something that you might write for
yourself you might write it for your
family you might write it for the people
that know you you might write it for
people who have a specific interest in
whatever was happening during that time
in your life so let's say you had you
overcame cancer and someone has their
commune of a similar rare form of cancer
to you and they are looking for some
story that explains what happened to
someone else and how they overcame it in
that case a chronicle is totally fine
that book will unlikely find a publisher
that it publishes for a general trade
audience meaning a big audience of
people who are not friends of yours who
don't know you and don't actually
understand or don't really have a
personal connection with whatever the
thing is that you went through right the
book set that Stan
the crowd for a general audience the
kind that your mom reads and your sister
reads and your dad reads and everyone
loves because they are just so amazing
and wonderful those are stories that are
crafted like a novel they are not
written chronologically in a lot of
cases directly chronologically they are
theirs interjections there's lots of
discussion of life there's lots of
understanding of a bigger picture of
what's going on and an articulation of
that but specifically though the thing
that's the most important in those books
is that they are character driven and
scene driven just like a novel okay when
I say character driven what do I mean by
that I mean that we have to grow to love
you as the protagonist of your memoir
you we can't assume that the person
reading it is automatically going to
just be on your side understand who you
are get you and one aside with you you
have to win them over how do you do that
you do that in a variety of different
ways one way is which you are really
vulnerable and revealed about who you
are you maybe start off not looking like
a princess for some reason we don't
actually connect to other people who are
just perfect all the time right if you
think about old stories that you've read
novels mythology etc the perfect person
usually gets their comeuppance at some
point right because none of us are
perfect we are all flawed and so the
thing that's at the core of those really
those best memoirs is our own flaws and
foibles we are revealing ourselves maybe
we're talking about our cancer journey
but we tell you a lot about who we are
were before that we explained we we
don't tell you in fact we show you we
show you that's where we get into the
scene question we show you through this
through different very carefully
tailored chosen scenes from our life who
we were before we don't tell you well
this is what I was like before that's
more of a chronicle that's more of a
just said here's what happened when
we're writing a memoir that we want to
have a really wide audience we need to
show what happened scene by scene it's
very very important to start with an
outline when you're writing it a novel
that you want or sorry a memorable novel
to see slip at the time when you're
writing a memoir that you want to read
like a novel it needs to actually have
elements of the hero's journey in it we
need to have the universal elements of
storytelling they must be
to starting with who you were before
show us don't tell us show us through
scenes show us the moment where you got
the diagnosis of the cancer not by
telling us this is what happened and
then this is what happened and that this
is what happened we live through it with
you it is a scene you start off the
scene I'm driving down the road and
maybe there's something has nothing to
do with cancer that gets involved and
you know so and so called I was really
mad and I said something really mean and
then all of a sudden oh my gosh the
other call came and you're you're
telling us but you're bringing us into
the story by giving us details that you
wouldn't otherwise think are relevant
it's those irrelevant details about who
we are and about the scenes that we are
walking through on this journey that
bring the whole story to life in a way
that makes it page turning we can't put
it down it's a very different way of
writing so you start off do some
character development really journal a
lot about you who are you what do you
care about what did you care about at
the beginning before the the event that
you want to write about happened what
were you thinking about most of the time
what were you doing if we've been
following you around with a video camera
at that time what would we have seen you
doing who would you have been talking to
what kinds of thoughts were running
through your mind at that time then
bring us into the scene the moment when
it happened
show us what happened don't tell us let
us understand who you are do some
character development around the people
that were close to you at the time you
might want to do ask yourself those same
character development questions about
the people who were there what was your
husband like what kinds of things were
going through his mind what would we
have seen him doing if we were following
him around with a video camera you're
doing this writing that may never make
it into the book but you need to get it
down on the page to really understand
who you were who he was who the other
players were in your life what was your
life like right about the house you
lived and write about the office where
you worked
write about the yard that you played in
as a child you you're going to have to
do a lot of this developmental writing
if you want to really be able to flesh
out the book in a way that comes to life
for the reader okay so that's the
character development then I want you to
plot the scenes plot them out as if they
were scenes in a movie movies are
actually a great
to learn about scene progression how
does the beginning of a movie fit with
the middle of the movie fit with the end
of the movie there's lots of books out
there that you can read about that that
will give you the insider information
they'll tell you what looks invisible to
you if you're not somebody who writes
screenplays and then use those
principles as you plot the scenes for
your book and I say plot the scenes
because I want you to plot them in
advance you will not be able to include
every single important moment of your
life you must carve it out think of
yourself as Michelangelo carving the
David out of a large block of marble
there was lots of beautiful marble that
ended up on the floor of his studio but
what we got out of it was something that
touched everyone's hearts just with this
immediacy that was undeniable and that's
what I want to have happen when someone
reads your book and I want to talk to
you about some of my favorite books so
you can actually go see what I'm talking
about
one of my absolute favorite memoirs
traveling mercies by Anne Lamott she's
one of my favorite writers and this is
my favorite book she's ever written it's
the story of who she was as she became
of age there she talks about seems she
has scenes in there from her Travis she
has scenes from her adulthood it talks
about her sobriety it talks about her
relationship with her father
there it's it covers a lot of territory
but it is a gorgeous gorgeous example of
how to craft beautiful scenes this book
is one of my absolute favorite books
I've talked about it before in videos
it's called caravan of no despair by
mirror by star Muir as a friend of mine
this book is one of my favorite memoirs
and what she had to do what she had to
leave on the cutting room floor is a lot
and it was really hard for her to get as
spare as she needed to be to create this
book but now it is an example of a
fairly told but extremely emotionally
intense memoir I love it so much caravan
of no despair so the afterlife of Billy
fingers is a memoir that I really love
it's kind of a kooky memoir by Annie
Kagan and you may or may not agree with
you know her what would happen to her
but she basically had a relationship
with her brother after he died like he
came to her and started speaking to her
and she wrote it down but what I love
about this book is that it is mostly
chronological although not entirely
she does have flashbacks but mostly
chronological but she tells the scenes
in such a lively and funny way that I
think it's worth you reading to
understand how you can tell a chronology
in scenes she's really good at setting
every single scene it's scene after
scene after scene and you'll really
understand it I think if you read this
book and then two more books that I
absolutely love Sumanth kid the dance of
the dissident daughter and Eve Ensler in
the body of the world both extremely
scene driven books and beautiful
beautiful memoirs so I hope that some of
these memoirs will help you understand
you know some of the greatest memoirs of
all time Angela's Ashes educated by Tara
West over that just came out The Glass
Castle these are books that if you go
back and look at them now with the eye
to how our characters characters
developed and how are these books seen
driven you will see what the best
memoirs of all time have in common I
hope this has been very helpful to you I
would love to help you more on your
journey you can find out much more at
Kay and literary calm you can sign up
for a call with an actual real live book
editor totally free no obligation at our
website in the meantime I wish you happy
writing the book you were born to write
needs to be in the world let me know if
there's any way we can help
