What to write rsvp
How to PROPERLY READ and RSVP to an INVITATION | TRACY HENSEL
good morning everyone welcome back happy
to have you join me what I want to talk
about today is the proper way to read
and reply to an invitation this is going
to be maybe a little bit more pertaining
to a wedding invitation but that is not
always the case just any invitation in
general my first tip is to communicate
to your children that if an invitation
comes in the mail to not open it or if
they do to not throw the invitation away
or the envelope I should say the reason
for that is a lot of wedding venues
nowadays are adult only and also there's
a lot of adult children that could be
dating someone things that you need to
pay attention to my husband and I have a
large family we have three adult
children the three adult children are
out on their own
therefore they are receiving their own
invites to things but I do feel that
there is a skill and that we need to pay
very close attention let me also say
real quick that if you don't receive an
invitation to something don't take it
personally especially when it comes to
wedding invitations a lot of wedding
venues are much smaller these days and
therefore the bride and the groom have
to be very choosy on who they select to
be invited to their special day it
doesn't mean that they don't want
everyone to be there it's just they are
limited on people weddings are very very
costly and expensive and if it's smaller
and in there paying that much money they
they have to pick and choose who comes
first and there are going to be people
that are eliminated another thing that
will happen in that situation is some
people may get a plus-one some people
may not have respect it's very costly to
have a wedding on
stand that it is very difficult for the
bride and groom when they are making
these decisions we have not been in that
situation none of our children are
married yet but I do know that someday
probably sooner than later we will be
facing this same situation
be very mindful and respectful of what
others are doing but back to the invite
one of the things that we have always
told our girls is that if an invitation
comes in the mail and it says mr. and
mrs. Paul Hensel and family if you do
choose to open that if mom and dad are
not home please do not throw the
envelope away we have had that happen
before where the envelope has been
thrown away and we never really got to
see who it was addressed to a lot of
receptions are adult receptions meaning
children are not invited so it is
something that you really want to pay
attention to the other thing is take no
offense if your children are not invited
most wedding receptions have drinking
it's really not a place for small
children I know that when my girls get
married someday if they have the option
to have it be an adult only reception
and they ask my opinion
I know I am going to advise them to make
it an adult only reception for that
reason because again there's drinking
kids like to run around I know it's a
lot of fun but when I was a child and I
see this today when children see the
dancefloor they just want to go
barreling out on that dance floor and
run around and they should their
children but again don't forget there's
drinking there's very expensive items at
wedding receptions it's really just not
a place really for children if you
choose to have children that's great
everybody has their own opinion on that
the other thing is most of the time you
are paying a per plate price and it can
get really costly and then when you're
paying for those children and the other
thing too to bear in mind is like I said
earlier a lot of
newse are much smaller these days and if
you can eliminate eight to ten young
children and you can open that window up
for some adults that you would like to
have there because you're limited on
seating I almost think that you're gonna
be more thankful that you had some of
your friends that maybe you went to
college with or maybe some of your
colleagues from work that you you
wouldn't have been able to invite
because of your smaller venue I would
probably rather enjoy my time with them
than a bunch of children that frankly
are just gonna want to run around but
again to each their own I'm not saying
my way is the is the right way it's
whatever works for you but that is my
opinion that being said when that
invitation comes it's very important for
you to look and see who is on the
invitation if it just says mr. and mrs.
Paul Hensel and that is it that is an
indicator that the children are not
invited don't ask the bride or groom if
children are invited if they were they
would be on there if you are a future
bride or groom remember to be very clear
on your invitations who is invited so
that there's no confusion there the
other thing that I want to mention and I
say this because we recently just got a
wedding invitation for my niece which I
am so excited she is having a reception
that is including children which i think
is wonderful she has a child of her own
again it's to each your own and it'll
all work out I'm just just just sharing
the two different two different sides
this invitation came addressed to uncle
Paul and Tracy Carly in Chloe Carly and
Chloe are the only two that are living
at home and inside it says four seats
are Razoo reserved for you my fourth
daughter Carly will be a senior in high
school she's gonna be 18 and in one more
month she'll be 18 and she has a
boyfriend when this invitation came I
shared with her that there's four seats
reserved so I said Carly just so you
know that means
your boyfriend is not invited and that's
okay again you can only see so many
people so you have to pick and choose
and she's also not an adult not a
long-term relationship but it was
important for me just to communicate
that to her in case she didn't know a
lot of kids at that age they really
don't know these things yet it takes the
parents to communicate and to let them
know so I let her know right away now my
oldest daughter Kirsten is not married
many of you know though that she does
have a long-term boyfriend on their
invitation kirsten was invited Plus Tim
in Tim's daughter but they're adults
that's how the bride and groom choose to
do it my point here is not about how it
should be done or the right way or the
wrong way
my point is for you to pay attention
that's that's all I'm getting at is pay
attention to that don't make assumptions
I have a daughter that lives in New York
just one moment
yes honey it's in the laundry room and I
put money with it but if you don't need
the money
well obviously you probably don't just
give her the voucher yes big family this
is how it works
pips needed me that's Chloe daughter
number five we're keeping it real here
so just very important to pay attention
to that what else was I gonna say before
we were interrupted yeah an important
she'd never make assumptions my daughter
that lives in that back to my daughter
in New York she is not dating anyone she
does not have a long-term boyfriend
she's not dating her she's never shared
with us she's dating anyone in New York
anyway I don't know but I don't think so
we were just out there visiting her and
I didn't get any any hints or or
speculations that there was there that
there was anybody else but for instance
for her she's been invited to a couple
weddings and although she is an adult
she just got invited for one she didn't
get a plus-one now
sometimes in her situation she could get
a plus-one
my daughter Makenna has a long-term
boyfriend not married but she is an
adult she got a plus-one what I'm
getting at is some of my daughters that
have a boyfriend
had a plus one on their invitation but
then I have a daughter that dint that is
okay and that's what I want to share so
many people get so offended or upset I
and I recently just had a conversation
with another person that that had this
happen and was very offended and I had
to remind them it's very costly to have
these wedding receptions let the bride
and groom make the decision let the
bride and groom have their special day
it is not our place to say who's invited
and just be happy for them it's it's a
lot it is a lot and I know we will be
faced with these choices someday when
our girls get married and I know it's
gonna be difficult who do you give a
plus-one to who do you who do you not
who do you eliminate because the venue
is smaller these are decisions in
they're difficult decisions be mindful
and be respectful that it's very it's
difficult on the bride and groom in
their families don't don't hold it
against them it's really sad when that
happens the other thing that I want to
talk about with your invitations in your
RSVPs it's really important to get them
filled out right away and get them
turned back in if you are waiting on
some of your older children to see what
their schedule is go to the reminders
app on your phone and put about seven
days out from what the RSVP date is to
reach out to your children and say are
you going to be able to make it and if
everyone can make it they need to commit
to it
do not let your children last minute say
I can't go to this because I have
something else
and same with adults if you RSVP to
something then you go the bride and
groom and their families are paying a
lot of money for you to be there and you
need to be there it's very disk
respectful to not be there it it really
is irresponsible
if you RSVP you're there that calls for
any invitation I know I'm honing in a
little bit on wedding invitations but
I'm talking about all invitations that
you receive together whether it's a
Facebook invite or if it's an invitation
you received in the mail
if you RSVP that you are going to be
there then you're going to be there it's
a non-negotiable unless something
catastrophic happens and it does and I
know myself if something catastrophic
happened and I couldn't be at something
that I had RSVP'd for knowing the person
that I am and knowing the expense that
goes into any party that anybody throws
I know this because we host parties all
the time I would probably send them a
check for whatever I thought the expense
was because I know they've already paid
for me to be there they've already paid
for my plate and I would send an apology
explain I was in the hospital whatever
it may be because things do happen a
death could happen in the family we
don't know life is unpredictable but if
that's not the case it's your
responsibility to be there the other
thing that it's your responsibility is
to be on time do not show up late for
things
be mindful be respectful get your RSVPs
and the bride and groom want to know
right away who's gonna be there the
sooner you get it in the more they
appreciate it if you don't turn in an
RSVP you don't go because they don't
know you're going that's what these are
for there's always a stamp on it if you
neglect to turn it in you can't assume
that they paid for your plate to be
there you don't go and you write an
apology letter but be responsible it's
amazing how many people really aren't
responsible the other thing going back
to the children never assume your
children are invited if they're not on
the invitation they're not invited it is
not your place to ask our kids going to
be included it's also not your place to
go talk to other people oh I guess kids
aren't invited or were you invited oh
this person wasn't in
it's really not your business it's
really not your business it's the bride
and groom's they get to make the final
call and it's always a difficult one
read the envelopes
pay attention get the RSVP n and I and I
think I think that covers it I don't
know I kind of done this video on a whim
because we just got an invitation so
there you go I thought I would share I
hope this was helpful I hope it makes
sense and I hope none of what was taking
the wrong way again I'm not I'm not
against whatever people do I just I just
know that back when I was a child and a
teenager and even when we got married
every single wedding reception had
children in it ours dead I think it's
only been maybe in the last I don't know
how many years that you will see more
adult only of receptions and venues and
some some people still have a hard time
understanding that or or digesting that
and it's okay things things change
weddings are more expensive now and it's
just a lot different and we have to
understand that and be conscious of that
all right well quit babbling I hope you
have a great day and we will see you
soon in another video all right take
care
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