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Long Distance Relationships as an LDS Missionary

[Music]

hi guys and welcome back to my channel

if you have been here for a couple of

videos you've probably seen my husband

in at least a few of them this is Eric

say hi hi hi he's great we bring them on

for relationship advice and all those

funds story times and so today we were

to talk about something that I've got a

ton of requests about and that is about

long distance relationship as an LDS

missionary because that's exactly what

we did if you've seen our video um you

have noticed that well you probably

heard that we dated for six months and

then I went on a mission and he was

super supportive of it and then when I

came home we got engaged and married all

within three months and it was fantastic

so we're gonna give you guys a few of

our little warnings and things you need

be aware of before waiting for somebody

on a mission whether you're a boy or a

girl and also some tips to help you pass

the time and do it successfully and

build a wonderful relationship while you

guys are really far apart and can only

communicate over emails once a week so

and before we go ahead and get on into

it I want to remind you guys to go ahead

and vote for me and this channel

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make sure you're entered because you can

win some really cool stuff so let's go

ahead and get into the video mmm okay so

the first thing we really want to talk

about this really important is deciding

first of all if you are gonna go on

mission I have a whole video about the

mission decision you can check out down

below to my first video is pretty great

not gonna lie basically I talked about

how if you're a girl you need to

evaluate kind of like what else you

would do like what are your other

options are I guess if you're gonna get

married if you have like jobs and stop

waiting for you want to go to school and

also like most importantly um your

spiritual and personal progression in

life I would not be Who I am today and I

would not have married him if I hadn't

gone on the mission and so I'm I'm

totally like every

all should go on a mission because it is

just fantastic and life-changing and you

gain so much from that that you cannot

gain any other way in life so quickly I

mean you can gain the same life

experiences but just not as quick as you

could on a mission so I would just say

bottom line is girls don't have to serve

missions but if they all can it it takes

ten years of life experiences and puts

it down into an 18th month training camp

and so why would you not want to get

what you're gonna I mean you don't want

a mission you're gonna learn that

eventually but you can get that all now

before you pick who you're gonna get

married to before you finish college

probably and get actually into life so I

think bottom line I mean not in

everybody's circumstance but as a

general rule you didn't go go definitely

guys it's an amazing experience and

honestly I feel like I wouldn't have

been like not worthy like actually like

temple worthy but like I wouldn't have

felt like up to par of where you were

spiritually and like in your own

personal progression in life if I hadn't

gone on a mission like I wouldn't felt

like I could marry you because I would

feel like on a lower level whereas when

I went on a mission I'm like oh I can

marry anybody because I'm awesome but

definitely decide you know if you're

gonna go on a mission and what kind of

what all you can gain from that and I

guess things that you might be losing

and maybe one of those things is

actually relationship and so you might

hit aside know what oh yeah that's true

so I mean for us in the beginning so she

was super scared and she told me hey

like Erik I want to serve on a mission

and I was super happy actually instantly

and I gave her a hug and was really

proud of her and she thought I was gonna

drop her and just like well I wanna go

you know I have a relationship with her

but it was actually opposite cuz the way

I figured is that if she goes on a

mission she's gonna get all these

experiences and she's gonna progress

significantly just spiritually in all

over in life and so I think that the

number one piece for the person who'd be

staying behind and has to wait or maybe

the relationship ends is looking at

their eternal progression and you want

them to be a better person the best

person I can be and the mission is a

huge part of that and so the way we both

thought of it is hey

I mean if it if she goes and you know it

doesn't work out when she comes back

either she breaks with me every girl

with her didn't like so what there's

somebody else out there for me

and there's somebody else out there for

her yeah yeah I mean just if I if he

wasn't there when I came home then like

I'm not heartbroken I'm never getting

married like that's not how I work like

there's lots of people exactly we don't

believe in soulmates in the church I

mean we believe that you know obviously

you need to find out who you should

marry and there's probably a couple of

good choices for you but we knew that if

you were doing God's will then you're

gonna have the best thing happen to you

so wouldn't happen that you know Jesse

and I break up and then we both have

terrible lives after that if you want

dessert yeah yes oh don't be confident

in yourself and also in the Lord when

you do go to Mission and if you are

leaving behind a relationship we also

want to tell you guys that we've had an

article that kind of scared me first

right before I left

I'll have to find an old link it down

below but it is a statistic the only

three percent of couples that like one

waits for the other while they go on a

mission only 3% actually get married

that's low that's crazy

and all you might know that I have

waited for somebody I mean even I like

attempted to wait for like a couple guys

like that lasted like a week honestly

various stories leading to that I'll be

another time but anyways it's a really

low percentage so just be aware of that

not to like scare you but just think

about that the reality is that only 3

out of 100 relationships are actually

gonna work out and so I think that you

have to set up if you are gonna start

that long-distance relationship it to

set it up right so that in the case that

it doesn't go well you're not devastated

and completely broken and the case that

it does go well then you're ready for

marriage and I don't think you can

decide before you go on a mission if

you're gonna marry that person you come

home that's not how it's gonna work

you're because you still have at least

another year and a half or two years

okay know each other and even changing

who you are as a person you're gonna

change a lot so you can't decide that

right away

um I think something a great tip

actually you brought up was not dating

if you're the one waiting at home don't

date anybody for six months

I'll try like as long as you can and

think to yourself okay do I really miss

the person or did I miss like the

attention that they gave me you have to

decide no I really want the person or

just the hole just like I like being a

relationship or I like the attention

that person gave me or I like qualities

that they have but not this I like I

have to have that person you have to

decide that and I think in that six

months like you can tell like am i year

away from them for six months you can't

hug them you can't kiss him yeah talk

with them face to face

and so you only can communicate you're

right it boils down to how like deep

your relationship is like just being

able to communicate through writing and

that's that is a big like test of time I

guess yeah yeah but I think one of the

the good points that they just now we're

talking about is that we didn't make any

promises to do the person like I'm gonna

wait for you the whole time you have to

wait like yeah another big one is I

didn't tell him that he wasn't allowed

to date anybody else that sounds insane

but I was like I want you to go date

other people one cuz I was like you

can't find anybody as amazing on me but

I was like yeah I I don't want to hold

you back in life because probably know

that other girl who is waiting for you

and you had to find her somehow and I

wasn't gonna hold you back from that for

a year and a half that wouldn't be what

I mean it's eighteen months so you could

be wasting yeah doing nothing and so so

kind of in our situation how it worked

out I was here in Northern California

finishing up Community College I was

doing a two-year associate's degree and

so I had a year left here where X was a

eight-month like nine years long time -

half the mission I was actually here in

Northern California where I was not

worried where I didn't think there is

that many other single options I didn't

think there's actually any I found Jesse

but um and so that wasn't really that

part of the deal but then we kind of

talked about when I go to BYU I'm

halfway through a mission then I would

date other people because I personally

hadn't dated anybody before her and so I

another had a dated everybody in the

brother so I was like I filled my dating

in life and so I was cool if he stuck

around and we ended up together and I

was also cool to also go back and date

more if I need to I came off my mission

so but yeah I mean we just kind of I

knew what I wanted was what I was trying

to say I knew what I wanted and like he

had like all the qualities that I did

one

yeah so I mean going forward the it

wasn't it was kind of like the whole

feel of something then let her free and

then you know if it loves people come

back on it right right and so I actually

went to BYU and with the intention to

date people but I couldn't bring myself

to it yeah and I I think that was a big

thing is that during those at least

until probably a year my eyes were very

open looking accurately for other people

that I might want to date and there just

wasn't anybody that I wanted to date and

so it came to the point where I would

actually tried to date and I just

couldn't do it

and he also compared as he was looking

he was comparing other girls that sounds

bad like comparing other girls to me but

like I at the moment was like who he

like so obviously if he's gonna find

somebody better he would have to find

something that has like the qualities he

likes and me plus other things so kind

of got a compare to yeah absolutely

options and then instead not even just

comparing to other people comparing it

to who you think would be an ideal wife

and something of it I am really glad I

did two years prior on my mission I

wrote out a list of all the qualities I

had two pages of things that I wanted in

a wife and two pages of things that I

didn't want a wife and this came from

being on my mission

living with I think 21 other guys and

finding out hey I like this quality I

hate this quality this would drive me

nuts and this is something that I really

enjoy in a friendship and in a person

and so I had that that forty three point

list and I was always looking at the

list cuz I know that hey this is

something when I was very spiritual I

had all my created priorities in life I

didn't have a specific girl in my life

this is what when I was saying I wanted

so that when I was then blinded by love

I could compare it and get a little bit

more of a is this the girl that I want

and it was kind of funny cuz as time was

going the more I get to know Jessie she

was hitting more and more and more of

those points until she came home I kid

you not every single one of those 43

points you've watched our engagement

video you know this but yeah and so I

mean she's right like looking at other

options

and actually looking but for me and when

I came down to actually dating other

people I couldn't do it

I couldn't actually take another girl

out on a date because there was nobody

who even came close to her anyways I had

pretty much done the same thing too when

I was at byu-idaho long before I met him

as I dated guys I would write down

things I liked about them and things I

didn't and so that was kind of like my

way of creating a list of qualities that

someone I really liked so that really

helped us yes I don't know if if she

talks too fast then there's a little

tiny cog let's see on this side of the

screen and you can press that and

there's a playback speed and you can put

it at 0.5 okay anyways one other thing

we did promise each other while we were

gone the only thing we promised was is

that we would for sure go on three dates

when I came home from my mission except

I mean if he was engaged but you knew he

was like dating somebody else he would

still go on three dates with me just to

like evaluate like where were we were at

and like if he liked me like if she has

all this I mean the person that she was

leaving as and playing back oh there's

going to be two different people and

hopefully a greatly improved person and

so how could I you know date her and

love her before the mission but then not

give her that opportunity afterwards so

I think that that gave her a lot of

confidence knowing that no matter what

even if I was in a relationship

I could tell whoever I was dating hey

Lou this is a promise that I made before

I even knew you and that girl couldn't

be mad at me because I mean what's you

afraid that I'm gonna fall in love with

Jessie which means that I was the right

one for her so yeah really Annie comes

down to just confidence in God and

confidence in yourself that you know as

long as you're doing the right thing the

right thing like good things are gonna

happen and you're gonna be okay yeah

okay so that's kind of our little

warnings for you guys just things to

ponder before you do want to mention now

if you are gonna have longest

relationship while you go on a mission

now we're any of you guys wonderful tips

to make it an amazing time okay so first

one I think is don't be a distraction

but instead being encouragement we were

never like Oh a miss you so much please

come home we had a no mushroom yeah well

a very specific like literally like no

much who is that from though wasn't that

fun like one of the Apostles when

they're writing

baby I don't know so anyway so yeah we

were allowed to be mushy but instead he

encouraged me all the time like hey I'm

super proud of you for what you're doing

like um yeah like I you but I don't want

you to come home because I know what

you're doing is better you have to be

unselfish they say the whole look kind

of like if you love something let it go

I was helping a ton of people and he

recognized that so you know that whole

eternal progression thing you got to

think of other people before yourself

well anything with that she was doing

all this work and she was gaining

spiritually so I had to use something or

else

you know I wouldn't be worthy of her she

would be just on a different plane than

me so one things I did is I I started

volunteering to work in the temple every

Friday for the whole time I was at BYU

and I still do today I think that really

helps our relationship having I had a

uniquely spiritual experience so yeah so

definitely keep busy if you're the one

waiting at home keep busy

it could be social you don't need to

stay in your room the whole time

Eric was great he I mean he would I mean

you didn't go on like double dates but

you were like oh is the four three or

something a lot of third wheels a lot of

fifth wheel lost seventh wheels you know

a lot of odd number wheels and that's

fine just be fun

but yeah like you said like I mean you

got to work a lot I was working a lot

and I also go to school and then you

know being active being social don't

just sit in boat because then you're

gonna be crazy and you're gonna try to

convince them to come home or it's just

bad it's just like if you're missionary

and you're not working the time pass is

so slow but when you're measuring you're

fully like you know envelop um when

you're missionary and you're super busy

all the time and you're not just

thinking of the boy waiting it back at

home or the girl um

you the time passes so fast we had this

running joke every time we would have

come on to email every week we're like

well it's in like five minutes since

I've talked to you like because the we

just flew by every single Monday and

something great that he did is you

actually plan your classes your schedule

to be able to write me on on my PJs that

way then like we can have like a

Commerce a

and our live email chat yeah our emails

it wasn't like a giant letter I sent to

him and the next week I got the response

from out like it was a little bit

quicker than that which is really which

was really nice and kept it like kept it

actually like you're a human like I'm

not just sending this email off into the

vast Internet and like I'll get a

response from something like some pen

pal yeah you're like an actual person

we're talking so that was something I

was really nice so one of the things

that I did and actually we both did to

help keep the communication keep

communication and be like a real person

yeah was we sent back and forth videos

you know I don't know every mission is

different and you know your president

might make rules against this when I was

in my mission it was fine but pretty

much what you what I did is I made

videos throughout the week much like for

blogs yeah it was just a blog it's

pretty much it wasn't what I'm doing in

my life

two-minute clips yeah kind of every

other day kind of thing or something

that's going on yeah and then each week

I would send that to her with a Google

Drive link she would open her email I

knew it was still my mission email guys

so I mean you're not technically

breaking rule because you're not leaving

your Gmail it was my mission email he

was sending it to me and that's a Gmail

which is connected to a Google Drive so

it depends on your mission president

you're not breaking a rule like

explicitly but I mean I think be wise

yeah if you're just sending mushy video

that's not know do something that your

parents won't be embarrassed exactly I

would just a lot of times he would send

the videos I sent him to my parents

which is great and because we weren't

much I might say hey like I love you bye

and that was kind of like the the gist

of it I mean you would send me videos of

investigators or what happy day because

we couldn't write a ton like while we

were writing on Mondays a minute an hour

and a half yeah not everybody including

your president and so I wanted to tell

him and Eric was the only person in my

family that I could relate to that it

served a mission because they're the

only other person was my brother and he

was married and busy so he was not a

person that understood my mission

stories so that was really fun to tell

him because he could give me feedback he

could tell me about stuff happen in his

mission and so I was like really fun

bonding thing that happened to so those

videos via Google Drive were great and

you know obviously of a mission you have

a Cameron you have a memory card just

beware if you're in a foreign country

Google Drive runs really slow so make

your videos about 45 seconds long

you're gonna smell while yeah yeah and

the quality it's rough you can I got a

trial-and-error that when you are in the

field but it's definitely fun and that

was so fun I look forward this video so

much and it wouldn't be came home when I

came home from a vision we didn't have

to like pick up from like none at all

and what it was actually almost too

weird about how like involved we were in

each other's lives even though I was

literally 4,000 miles away and we talked

once a week like that was kind of crazy

and really cool so but yeah also okay

she types we could be fast like a

hundred and four M words a minute I beat

typing tests on the internet so and I

type really really slow and my spelling

is really bad and so on Mondays or P

days she would type up these huge

letters and I'd like are you there's no

well I guess I'm just slow so what I

would do and I would read her letters

and then I respond to them just with a

voice memo on my phone and then you can

actually send the voice recording

through the email just has an attachment

so if your mission president is like

zero Google Drive voice messages are

still a thing you can send even via

Gmail so that was pulling a good record

on his phone I never found out how to do

that I'm sure maybe there's a way

especially since a lot of them

smartphones no my uh my good I don't

think it kind of it has snake on it

okay but anyways if you have a

smartphone like majority missionaries do

you prior record voice recordings and

then send them an email and that is like

that you're not leaving Gmail oh yeah oh

yeah he's smart

yeah like ask questions I mean don't

break rules but um and these are and we

live in the 21st century and there's a

lot of ways that we can stay connected

other than sending a letter that takes

three months to get there and back oh

yeah

yeah and we really made a point to talk

about we weren't like just like shallow

stuff like we talked about more in the

mission stuff we talked about a lot of

personal things we were both going

through we talked about a hip dating of

the people we talked about so much stuff

all the time like our conversations were

deep and all the time you would say hey

I have this doctrinal question and yeah

I need to do research Brown have time to

do it so she you would like him I do

bike so I didn't have the priesthood

until they said me and then I had this

this little assignment where I would go

and I researched and black oh you're

just answer yeah so we had doctrine

oldest guy

we had personal discussions we like talk

about everything so don't keep it like

you don't even just about the mission

I'm trying to keep it much don't be

mushy but like you can talk about your

personal lives two things you're going

through so another thing that was really

fun is gifts so this was something super

fun that something I had a ton of fun

doing before I left because I knew okay

I was in Peru foreign mail sucks and is

expensive

oh my gosh so expensive so I was like

I'm gonna be gone for Christmas our

birthday and Valentine's Day and I don't

like a random luck I don't know anyways

so what I did is I pre-made gift boxes

to give you while I was on my mission

and so I'll have to make another video

about this another day where you guys

can see like actually how I did it but

that way it so I gave to all before to

him

I gave him all these boxes before I left

and that way when the date came around

he had a present from me and I had

letters in it and if you guys see those

cute little open when letters that you

see on Pinterest all the time I wrote a

ton of those so there was open when

letters for like open when you miss me

open when you want a hug open if there's

another girl open if we have a fight

open if all these different yeah we

never fought technically we don't we

never fought at all so but yeah anyways

um and the great part was if I ever were

to leave her breakup I still have all

these gifts I'm just stop it anyways so

that was a really cool way that like

even if he couldn't talk to me instantly

he still had a brand new letter or a

brand new thing to read for me in that

moment so that was pretty meat was it

like it was guaranteed there on that

holiday yeah and cuz yeah mail was

terrible but Eric came through I don't

even know how to's day and he just blew

out the Peruvian mail system and got

around it and sent me some amazing gift

so I had like a rant about I formed a

relationship with somebody who was in

her mission boundaries I was kind of

like weird

I knew somebody from Italy who was

Ecuadorian who knew somebody was

Peruvian who lived in Jesse's mission

and so then me

his Peruvian girls started talking and

she spoke some Italian but mainly

Spanish and so we tried to communicate

and was very difficult communicate but I

would send this Peruvian lady money and

then I would have her go buy something

like okay hey and flowers something he

couldn't send on my birthday like you

can't you can't ascend a cake through

you can't send sweets I mean what have

your cookies oh yeah your mouth it took

two months in the herbal tea and so this

girl is she actually she went to Jesse's

door and she knock on in like had just

taken these flowers it was so cool

oh my gosh anyway so yeah he made

friends with people like that and he

even like would email my companions and

he would set up like not that hard am

taking everything dot last name at my OB

yeah when you even asked me to her email

like Emma you can even roundabout ways

anyways he would like conspire with my

companions to be able to get me gifts

and things like that and so that was

really neat so there's definitely ways

to do it and like Facebook and members

like you can like members are such a big

thing yeah okay members what they'll do

is they'll add Jessie on Facebook even

though Jesse couldn't use her Facebook I

was the one monitoring well consequently

especially South Americans they want to

add you in all of your family and so

like then they would add me and when

they'd be in the same Ward so I could

actually communicate through them if I

need as you two get presents because all

the members of the ward know where the

missionaries live and pretty much what

we're doing all the time so it's really

easy if you guys want to do stuff like

that which sounds crazy but it's really

cool because you can send things like I

would actually add one time I sent um a

calendar I made with her with these

pictures of my mission and then she

could insert a picture of her mission

she had to kind of like duplicate the

pose to make a whole video about gift

ideas like for missionary couples and

your guys gonna see some of these

amazing gifts he made so but anyways I

coupled that with you know something

fresh like flowers or whatever and that

was just like a different way to you

know she opens the door and she's just

like shocked at like you know the stuff

that she thought that I forgot oh I know

so that was a really cool thing another

really great way to get to know more

about actually the person that you are

waiting for and there

it's actually spent time with their

family while they're gone so you can

talk about this because you my family

weren't tidewater expired yeah no okay

honestly if you're waiting for somebody

then what you're trying to marry them

and you're gonna be with him forever

okay like 25% of your marriage is

actually the other person's family ethic

I don't think a lot of people realize

how important it is your relationship

with your in-laws and so while I was

here for those 10 months going to the JC

I was still visiting her parents and I'd

come over once a week and we'd have

dinner for three hours and I had talked

with him and I became like their son

already because both our kids are out of

the house and then I became another

connection between you know Jesse and

them so it's really great even when I

went um to college I would still call

them both of them and talk to him at

least an hour a week on Sundays and that

really helped me knowing hey do I really

want to marry this family or not and I

had a lot of different insights because

I was there when Jesse wasn't there and

so she can be there to you know have him

on a leash make sure that they filtered

what they said I got everything I

learned everything yet I think probably

more that I shouldn't know even stuff

about me that my parents told him and so

it was great because I had such a great

relationship with them and then I got a

different aspect of it cuz Jesse wasn't

there that when it was time to get

engaged insanely quick and get married

kind of insanely quick they very much

knew me and I very much think them and

so it really wasn't that weird no I

wasn't and so that was a great thing he

did um now and I thought of another gift

thing actually that you did for me was

when I left arrow checked my digital

camera that I was gonna be taking with

me and he pre-recorded videos for

certain dates in my mission so he made a

video like talking to me about like when

I my first night in Lima my first night

in the mission field out of the MTC my

first like I don't when I hit six months

he he did these videos and they were

already on my camera so I wasn't like I

had to watch him on a computer like I

wasn't breaking any rules because they

already on my camera and so that was

really cool and something I gotta look

forward to kind of like the

boxes that I made and the thing is they

weren't like all mushy I love you so

much you know

you guys ever given me advice yeah and

telling me experiences about his mission

yeah yeah and so that was really funny

gave me something so much to look

forward to and that really because the

first six months are hard guys because

you go from being with this person like

all the time we were together all the

time before I left and Allison he's gone

it was kind of hard and to be able to

like actually watch those videos and see

him talking to me and like and our

relation and reminding me kind of our

relationship whenever I wanted in my

mission house and like my apartment that

was really neat too so yeah um another

thing I want to tell you guys is you do

have to kind of start separating your

mission and your relationship when it

comes time for you to leave I didn't

have Eric come with me to the temple

when I got endowed because if something

in our relationship wasn't to work out I

wouldn't want Eric and like all these

pictures of my endowment and have like

this like terrible memory of exploit you

don't attach the spiritual with you know

might not last I mean three percent of

relationships last you're likely not

it's not gonna work out yeah unless you

do things right come with me to my

endowment session he didn't come when I

got set apart we actually said goodbye

earlier that morning when I did get set

apart we said goodbye we had you know

our last kiss hug all that it was it was

I cried quite a bit and anyways then

like our physical relationship was like

I had an end yeah then I went got set

apart I was in missionary mode then the

next day I went to the airport he didn't

come to the airport and so it was really

great because then it started me

thinking it wasn't like right up until

the plane like goodbye like nothing cuz

that would be really hard so if you're

gonna have like a definite ending point

at the physical relationship that helped

me personally so that was another cool

thing he was at the airport when I got

home but uh yeah up until then no so and

then our last thing was basically when

you video chat so you can Skype your

parents on Mother's Day and Christmas um

now I also had my brother there and my

parents and then also Eric was a little

background fixture um I I thought it was

really great because I did invite him to

three out of my four calls I didn't have

you there at the first one um that was I

was legit yeah 10 days I thought that

would be really hard

anyways it was just my parents but after

that Eric was always there but it wasn't

like just him and I talking all time it

was me talking to like everybody and

like mostly my parents and my brother

and then Eric would like kind of like

chime in every once in a while yeah or

when I was out at BYU yeah I didn't you

know we did a three-way call and so that

I was in there but it wasn't a one on

one call know where it's like I miss you

I can't wait to come home kind of thing

you know I think that's how it should be

I mean honestly when I'm one can lead to

some really like dangerous things and

like be really hard to well I had

companions that they did their one on

one call with a girlfriend

I mean I don't think you should do that

not only like just rules wise but it

just difficulty wise I mean yeah that's

not what it was enough say goodbye to my

family let alone like having him there

to like it was hard and I came out to me

was like just him and I like that be

where it's okay and also I mean we were

sending all these videos back and forth

so we very much worrying that in touch

with each other it'd be kind of messed

up for me the boyfriend to take over the

how many minutes did you have uh uh half

isn't it thirty minutes yeah it's like

thirty or is it I can't remember but

however then it's like I felt like it

would be very rude for me to take over

that time so I mean stick to the time

don't call your girlfriend or boyfriend

and talk for an hour alone like it

doesn't help the time pass any faster it

makes it way worse yeah the rules are

set up to help us themselves okay so

that's all our tips the last few that I

want to say there are Facebook groups

all about for girls who are waiting for

elders and Ella and boys who are waiting

for sister missionaries so go find those

Facebook groups I will have some link

down below we followed her own advice I

mean that's that's what we did and it

really it made waiting not that long

everybody told me that I was crazy for

waiting for somebody and it like you

know she's gonna change and what if she

doesn't like you and it's super risky

and what if you just wasted all that

time and for me it wasn't a risk because

I was changing with her and I was with

her every step of the way and I knew how

focused and dedicated she was the

mission I mean she worked so hard

unbelievably hard like she would

literally run at night actually I could

get one more appointment

well like that was just who she was and

so I think it comes down to if you know

that she is focused on on the Lord more

than me and I'm focused on Lord more

than her and then we also focus on each

other but not in a distracting way when

she came home from her mission we just

picked up right where we left and it was

amazing we have this you know amazing

relationship and you know Christ is the

center of it because she was willing to

go leave me for 18 months to go serve

God and so if you have that opportunity

do it yeah I mean the worst that will

happen is it you guys break up but she

shall served a mission or he soul serve

a mission and their lives are gonna be

forever plus because of that yeah yeah I

said this is my mission decision video

guys but honestly there's no other time

in your life like this time now when you

have the opportunity to permission you

can never do this again

and they say missions aren't start

indefinitely out the same you can never

be a full-time proselyting young

missionary again in your life and if you

get married I mean you have your whole

life to be married and so why not take a

year and a half two years of your time

and go serve the Lord answer and serve

other people and gain all these amazing

experiences that coming and married you

get the best of both worlds gonna have

your cake idiot - it's great you're a

great person you know great husband and

a great relationship you guys really

love each other

it's 18 yeah it's not that long you're

supposed to be with them for eternity if

you can't wait with 18 months yeah if

you can't wait that long than I mean

evaluate your relationship so yeah

that's all of our tips guys I hope you

learned something give it a like if you

learn something new if you are gonna be

waiting for a missionary somehow you can

leave all your comments and advice down

below if you have a specific question

for us if you want to share your story

about waiting for a missionary or

questions you have about it leave nevel

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