Online Dating First Message Tips – Very Important!

hi walk it's online for love your

resource we're gaining out by the

numbers I'm Tyler your online dating

expert and I've been reading reviewing

and comparing online dating websites for

the last five years now and today we're

going to be talking about the best tips

to sending that first online dating

message so you've gone ahead and made

the first move and signed up for a great

online dating web site like eHarmony or

match.com and you've answered all the

questions and you've filled out your

profile pretty well this is great you've

accomplished one of the biggest hurdles

there is to online dating hopefully

you've followed one of our great online

dating profile guides which you can find

it in the description down below it's

available for both men and women and

best of all it's completely free and it

will up your chances at making more

matches having gone through all of your

searches and looking through all your

potential matches you actually made a

great match with somebody that you find

a lot of interesting and here comes the

fun part or for a lot of people the

scary part and that's sending them the

first message you'd be surprised at the

number of people who absolutely fries at

the thought of having to write somebody

a message thoughts like should I simply

just send a hello and hope for the best

or should I wait for them to make the

first move

erased in people's minds like a raging

waterfall I'm sure these are about a few

of the questions that are racing through

your mind right now fortunately for you

we've put this guide together in order

for you to be able to make a great first

message and a great person pression with

all your other potential matches that

are out there now make no mistake I

think that first message is very

important and it is absolutely critical

to your success in the online dating

world sending the wrong first message

could result in you getting a equally

crappy first message back it can result

in you being laughed at and shared

around the friends and it can even

result in them just completely

unmatching you altogether we are

absolutely certain that you do not want

to be the next bad water-cooler story so

let's jump into what some of the best

things that you can do to make your

first message along the best now maybe

you haven't even found your online

dating website yet and you're just

figuring out how to talk to somebody but

I do really suggest that you do jump

on to online dating websites because it

gives you all the time potential luckily

we here at online for log have a great

online dating website quiz that you can

take right now in the description down

below this online dating website quiz

will ask me some personal questions that

help hone down the best online dating

website for you personally I do want to

mention as well that this video is

actually based off of an article which

you can find in the description down

below and on our website online for love

the reason I'm mentioning Liz is because

any statistics I may say during this

video are only true at the time of me

recording but all of that information is

consistently updated on our website

article version so be sure to go check

that out

to structure this video a little bit

easier for you to digest I'm going to be

splitting it up into these five

categories number one will be the

message title number two will be the

opening sentence number three will be if

you want to mention books and before

will be talking about your similarities

with them and number five is to not

forget about mentioning yourself well

the essence of your first message system

plea let the other person know that

you're interested and engaging with them

where you want to be sure that you're

not going overboard with it so how you

frame your first impressions will really

help them be able to determine if you're

a good natural them or not and if we're

being honest here the real first

impression they're gonna get is from

your online dating profile

and luckily on life--all love has a

great online dating profile guide that

you can check out in the description

down below these guys are available for

both men and women and best of all they

are completely free

another thing that's completely free and

really helpful too is to be able to be

hit the like button that's right below

my video and to be sure to subscribe and

ring the bell so you don't miss out on

any more online prolongs great online

dating tips so without further adieu

let's move on to number one on our list

which is your message title now not

every single online dating website has

message titles but almost every single

online dating website only shows the

first little board come whatever your

entire message is you really want to be

sure that you're writing something is

going to catch this person's eye the

first thing you really want to be sure

that you're avoiding is that you're not

writing hey sexy or high you have a nice

body type of stuff as the first initial

thing that you're saying to them it

comes off as something there you just

wanna hook up with them or you're just

only looking at their looks and nothing


it's not a great message overall now if

you were looking to use some websites

specifically for hookups they do have

those types of online dating websites

out there like adult friend finder or

even tinder for example you don't really

know the person yet you don't really

want to send them something that's so

direct because you want them to think

that you're genuinely into them the

whole point is to kind of let your

initial message do the talking for you I

mean if you've got to think about it

yourself if you were to get a message

from somebody what would you want it to

say you probably want to see that they

looked at your profile they were

interested in something in it so maybe

something along the lines of I enjoyed

reading your profile I found that this

was something had similarities in or

something like that would really catch

somebody's eye more than just shouting a

generic comment about their body the

message title or the initial message

that they will see from you is really

important and it really does determine

your success in continuing a

conversation so be sure you put a good

amount of energy towards this so the

second one on my list is the opening

sentence now this would be the opening

sentence for websites that have message

titles or they would just be your second

sentence and websites that don't after

you've caught their initial attention

you want to be sure that you're going to

try and keep it in some way now the best

thing that you can do for yourself to

ensure success with this is to be sure

that you read their profile and that

you've found something that you have

similar interest in for example if

they're really into horror movies and

you are - you could say something along

the lines of hi I'm Tyler so you're

really into horror movies my favorite

horror movie is insidious what's your

favorite horror

now this achieves two things and one

shows them that you have a mutual

interest and two just shows them that

you took the time to read over their

profile and that you are looking for a

more genuine relationship something that

you really shouldn't do is really go

overboard and say things like oh I'm the

person you need problems something along

the lines of that it just you kind of

come off as like a Gaston type of

character and it's it's not really that

or appealing I do want to reiterate

again them really the best thing you can

do for yourself is to read over their

profile why a mutual interest that you

both have and did you mention it right

away for example if they said that they

love watching online for love on YouTube

and they liked and subscribe to it you

could go ahead and tell that person hey

you know what all likes and subscribe to

our mindful of as well I'm super awesome

we have something in common I don't

return the list as an optional thing you

can do and it's something that I

personally try to avoid when I do engage

or somebody for that especially for the

very first message and that's by

complimenting on their books now you

really do want to try to avoid doing

this in a derogatory kind of once way

and you really want to try gauging it to

being a more classy type of style in

complimenting them for example saying

things like you're super hot or you're

really sexy or things like that or way

to directs and they're way too generic

and they're not really genuine in my

opinion but if you say something that

can really only apply to them like maybe

that person is wearing a nice red dress

or something you could say that red

dress really suits you it the way it

looks on you or if they are a guy and

they are wearing a suit feel like you

really fit that suit really well you

look really good in there or something

like that it's more gauged towards them

and what they're actually looking like

in a photo and less very generic open

messages like these come off a lot less

threatening than your other types of

derogatory messages and I think it

appeals a lot more to people when you

say them this way number four my list is

to talk about their similarities now

again I know I mentioned earlier too to

look over their profile and to see

things that you may have in similarity

with them in interest it's super

important to do this and if you do want

to extend your message I really do think

you should be focusing on the things

that you guys have in common because

writing that first online dating message

can be really awkward especially if you

don't know anything about the person

it's a bad excuse to have because

usually people write these big profiles

about themselves and you should be

reading them and figure out more about

the person before you send them that

first message you could look at things

like maybe they said dresses the movies

that they're into or maybe they

are suggesting their favorite bands or

music that they listen to maybe they

have their job listed on there or maybe

they even have an Instagram hooked up

and you could see in their Instagram

what they're doing with their life and

knowledge really is power in this

because then and once you know enough

about a person you basically have a ton

of conversation topics that you can

choose from yourself to continue on and

not reading their profile on trying to

something the first message only hurts

your chances I don't know why anybody

would do that no even if a person does

write a lot of information about

themselves you do want to keep in mind

as well that you want your first message

to be short and sweet you don't want to

be writing this person in an essay

nobody wants to read five paragraphs

long of a message they just want to read

something that is short sweet something

that they can easily digest and be able

to respond to without having to have too

much behind because of this we suggest

that you don't write more than four

sentences four sentences is more than

enough for you to be able to write a

great intro for you to be able to

introduce your name if it's not listed

on the website and for you to be able to

talk about mutual interest that you may

have with the person one of the similar

interests that you can actually have

with a lot of viewers who are watching

this video right now is that a lot of

people actually like and subscribe to

this so if you like and subscribe to you

could maybe talk to some other users who

are watching this video and start a

great conversation on that so number

five on my list is to not forget about

mentioning yourselves now that you've

had your great first introductory

sentences that are put in there and he

talks about something that you both have

in common it's a good idea to make me

say something about yourself that you

finds that they might have interesting

now again it's a good idea to have

something that maybe is not written on

your profile something that extends your

profile a little bit likely this person

if they do like your message is going to

go check out your online dating profile

and they're gonna see everything that's

listed there and if you just copy

something from there and put it in your

message you're not really adding

anything to the conversation

for example maybe they mentioned horror

movies on their profile and you do like

watching horror movies as well but you

didn't mention horror movies on your

prior profile so that's something that

you can tell them personally

that you have a comment interesting that

would make them feel like oh this person

didn't have that interest on their

profile they're just telling me this


and it's pretty cool that they're

telling me it is a really important

though to not make the message about

yourself and to be sure that if you do

mention something about your own

personal interest that you are always

going to turn the conversation back

around in that initial message to their

profile and things you noticed with

their profile so I actually do have

another bonus tip that I would love to

share with you guys and that is the

closing of your message now closing your

message might be something that you

didn't think about was an important

thing but it actually is if you just

send your message saying something like

goodbye it's seems like you've already

ended the conversation right there we're

not suggesting that you write an entire

love story about how your writing

goodbye to this person and to write an

extension thing no no we're just saying

that just saying goodbye by itself is

not very creative and it's not a good

way to wrap up a message it's the last

thought that someone's gonna have when

they see your message try not to make

yourself sound of desperate or sad

either I've had some people actually

tell me that they think it's a good idea

to end their message with something like

if we don't get back to me it's okay I

understand I don't I won't be like upset

or sad or anything just don't don't do

that instead try saying something like I

hope you enjoyed my message and I look

forward to hearing back from you have a

beautiful day so know this shows them

that you are interested in continuing

the conversation you would love to hear

back from them have confidence enough

that you are going to hear back from

them and that you don't expect that

message back right away you tell them

hold them take your time have a good

Danny type of thing so it's really of

confidence move that you're making there

if you use all of these tips wisely and

you really do try to think about how to

make these messages personal to the

people that you're sending them to then

I do really believe that you'll have

great success in finding your next

girlfriend or boyfriend well that just

about wraps up my video I really want to

thank you guys

again I hope you guys are able to walk

away from this video having better

knowledge on how to make better matches

and better first messages if you guys

liked the video I would really

appreciate you hitting like and if you

loved the video I would super appreciate

you guys hitting subscribe and ringing

the bell I did want to ask you guys if

you have received some great first

messages and what they looked like and

how will they call your eye and why and

I would also like to hear some of the

worst first messages that you've ever

gotten because who doesn't love hearing

some terrible stories from relationships

thank you guys so much for watching and

I'll catch you guys next time on online

for love see ya