hi it's Erica in the spirit of being a
little more casual I decided to do this
video with no tripod and outside and the
reason I'm doing that is because I'm
talking today about writing a sympathy
card and basically when you do this you
just have to go for it I actually have a
much harder time writing sympathy cards
for losses of humans than animals and I
think that many of us may feel the same
way I got a lot of sympathy cards when
my mom passed away and my relationship
with my mom was really complicated and
not always the greatest and so I felt
like every sympathy card that I got just
didn't quite hit the mark and as a
result when I write a sympathy card for
a person I'm so aware that there's so
much that I don't know about the
relationship but our relationships with
pets are really simpler than that and at
least from my point of view it's not so
hard to write something that rings true
for an animal many times I have people
tell me that they actually had a harder
time grieving the loss of their animal
than they did the loss of a parent and
find that surprising but I I find that
not surprising at all you know animals
don't worry about whether we let them
down they don't have really high
requirements of us they just want to
love and be loved and that is so
refreshing ly straightforward sometimes
compared to our relationships with
people so when I write a sympathy card I
start out usually by just saying I'm so
sorry for your loss
and I usually end pretty much the same
way I say thinking of you with great
sympathy and then my name or with deep
sympathy and then in between I just try
to say as much as I know about my about
the person's relationship with their
animals so if they told me any little
stories I might reference those or I
might say you know I love I know that
fuzzy really love to sit in the window
and look at the birds or I I remember
the story you told me about Joe and how
he stole the shoe that time and you know
he sure was a funny dog like just
anything that that helps the person know
that their animal was seen and known by
somebody that's not just them and the
other thing that I I do is just
reference how I'm sure the person is
missing the animal very much because we
do you know and sometimes I know that
the person is going to grieve that loss
intensely and so I might mention that I
think the house often feels strangely
empty after a pet is gone and it's not
unusual for me to mention that and in my
position as a veterinarian a lot of
people really want reassurance that they
made a good choice at a good time and so
if I have a sense that they are looking
for that I might tell them that I don't
think that's really appropriate for a
non veterinarian who wasn't you know
involved in that choice necessarily
unless maybe you were involved in that
choice maybe you helped that person
through their struggles with deciding
about euthanasia and
that case that could be totally
appropriate to put that down and if you
knew the pet at all personally you know
you can share some of your favorite
recollections of that pet or their
personality but the number one thing and
and what I always resort to when I write
a sympathy card for a human loss which I
always find so much more challenging is
that it doesn't have to be perfect or
fantastic it's so much better to write
it then not to write it and so just do
it just go for it and if it's just a few
sentences it's really fine you know
getting the card is what means the most
to people and of course it's wonderful
if it's a brilliant insightful card but
just to have a card just to know that
you care about them and that you thought
of them is the number one thing so any
comments feel free to leave them and if
you have questions or would you like to
make an appointment for a consultation
just give me a call 802 five five two
eight two two four check out my website
heart of Vermont vet comm there's a
contact form there you can send me an
email that way and keep writing thanks
bye