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My In Laws Hate Me: 3 Easy Ways To Make Them Feel Different

hi I'm coach Natalie welcome to my

youtube channel this channel is geared

toward self coaching it's an opportunity

for you guys to help yourselves there at

home and most of the content comes from

inspiration we get from our one-on-one

coaching sessions with our clients I got

a really interesting one yesterday and

that's something I wanted to make a

video about it's about what happens when

you're when the parents of your partner

hate you some of you are dealing with

this you love your partner you love your

boyfriend you love your girlfriend you

love your wife you love your husband but

their parents do not love you what do

you do it's stressful I understand and a

lot of the times you expect your partner

to pick you over them one I highly

disagree with you there

I think it's very important to be

respectful of the the biological dynamic

of your partner's family sometimes we

want them to pick us sometimes we don't

give a if they like us or not

that's not going to help you in the long

term they serve as a support system to

your partner and so they need to accept

you okay

listen there are going to be unique

cases here where this is not apply if

their parents are incredibly abusive if

they themselves do not get along very

well then this may not apply to you and

I will make additional content geared

toward your situation later but let's

say they do get along with your partner

excuse me your husband your wife your

boyfriend your girlfriend and they don't

like you it's awkward it doesn't work

out well what I would encourage you to

do is get to the root of the problem

rather than focus on buttering them up

bringing them flowers and making a

temporary bandage I would encourage you

to get into the belly of the dislike

what went wrong for instance did you

cheat on your partner and now the

parents have scorned you they hate you

they don't want you with their daughter

they don't want you with their son that

will take time rebuilding trust in that

way will take time but it's totally

doable however you have to be willing to

exert consistency here don't expect for

this to be a 180 overnight don't expect

for you to see them one time after and

the moment that they dote and embrace

you the way that you want you give up

you need to prove to them like you prove

to your partner that you are worth

investing in they want to like you it's

a what's the worst night

to meet your daughter your son's partner

and not like them that sucks for them

too they want to accept you they want to

make this easy help them I would

encourage you to do the following

exercise it's really helped my client I

want you to make a list of the

encounters you've had with the parents

and I want you to identify through that

list where any tension or awkwardness

could have stepped was it in your

control and was it not what was the

cause of the tension was it your line of

work

was it your group of friends was it your

daily routine was it the activities you

choose to embrace what is the motive for

them to have been distant okay and then

I also wanted to make a list of all the

issues you had with your partner and

which of them could have been funneled

back to the parents the more we can

target in terms of the belly of the

relationship you have with them the

easier and faster we can reconcile that

and trust me when you become in their

good graces you're going to set yourself

up for so much success it's going to be

so much easy or I'm sorry it's going to

be so much easier to commit to the

relationship to continue investing in

the relationship for them and your

partner to continue investing in you for

a lot of partners the parents

disapproval is a telltale sign that the

relationship is not going to work that's

very real don't think that they will

pick you over their parents it's a

little unrealistic and so I wanted to

keep into consideration if you are

facing an issue where the parents don't

like you that you feel does not relate

to this video I encourage you to let me

know leave a comment under it under this

video let me know what the specific

intricacies of their relationship are

let me see how I can help let's see if

we can fix this together if you want

narrowly defined advice I would

encourage you to book a one-on-one with

me let me know where you're headed at

where their heads are at

whether you exchange dialog about this

the current status of the relationship

and I would love to help you out and

facilitate mending that relationship

thank you so much for tuning in I really

hope you got some insight here and I

look forward to connecting with you

whether it be via YouTube on our website

with my ex again calm or in a coaching

session so thank you very much and have

a great one