what do you do and how do you respond

when someone you love is experiencing

the loss of a loved one that's coming up

next on the beat hey everyone my name is

Alan Parra thank you all so much for

tuning in to the beat today we're

answering the difficult question how do

you comfort someone who has experienced

a loss and so the truth of the matter is

is that often times it can be awkward

because we don't always know what to do

we don't always know what to say

and you're oftentimes afraid of saying

the wrong thing at the wrong time you're

not sure where this person is in terms

of their emotional state and so today I

just want to share with you two things

that you should never do and then four

things that you should always attempt to

do when comforting somebody who's

experienced a loss number one do not

assume that this person wants or needs

space if this person is a true dear

friend of yours not only do they want to

hear from you they need to hear from you

and even if they don't express it they

expect to hear from you and when we do

not reach out it actually can compound

their pain because now they're not only

dealing with the loss of their loved one

but they're also dealing with the fact

that those people closest to them did

not show genuine concern and their time

of greatest need number two do not talk

too much the Bible says let every word

that we speak be helpful according to

the need of the moment now this doesn't

mean that we don't talk at all it just

simply means to use wisdom whenever we

speak sometimes we don't always know

what to say and so to compensate for

that we try to say too much what we need

to realize is that whenever somebody's

dealing with a loss there is nothing

secular or spiritual that you could say

to them at that moment that will remove

or lessen the pain the reason why we

shouldn't say things like well they're

in a better place or it was just their

time or you'll see them again or heaven

has just received an angel is because

first of all we don't even know if those

things are true but second of all at

that moment these people are not

interested in nor do they care that

they're going to see their loved one

later on in the future in heaven they

are dealing with the reality of the loss

right now the first thing that every

person who is dealing with the loss

desperately needs is your prayers not

just you praying for

them but more importantly you praying

with them there's something encouraging

that happens when you lay your hands on

somebody and they hear you praying and

crying out to God on their behalf the

second thing that they need is not only

your prayers but your presence in the

book of Job we read of a man who lost

his health his wealth his family and

many of his friends deserted him and at

the end of chapter one it says that his

three friends saw the excruciating pain

that he was dealing with and for seven

days they came and wept with him

they sat with him and they did not say a


sometimes our presence in the most

difficult seasons of their life can mean

way more than any words that we could

express to them so weeping with those

who weep listening to them no matter how

long it takes once again remembering

that the less talking we do the better

this means reaching out to them every

couple of days and on special days such

as the birthday of the person who has

passed away or the anniversary of the

deceased or on special times such as the

holidays where we can know and

anticipate that they're going to be

dealing with the memories of the loss of

a loved one all of these are ways that

we can show our presence to reassure

them that they do not have to walk

through this alone the third thing that

they need is not only our prayers and

our presence but practical support the

Bible says do not withhold good to those

who deserve it when it is in our power

to help them oftentimes when a person is

experiencing a loss they are still in a

state of shock and denial and they may

or may not be in the mental state to do

certain things and to get certain things

done so simply asking them is there

anything that I can do to serve you and

so doing simple things like watching

their children or inviting them over to

your house for dinner taking them out to

lunch taking them out to a movie doing

their groceries for them coming over to

the house doing housework for them

sending them a gift card all of these

are tangible ways that we can show love

and show practical support to those who

are dealing with the loss of a loved one

and finally they need our patience so in

other words don't pass judgment on them

or be impatient with them

if it takes them longer to deal with and

process the loss than it would for you

understand that everyone deals with loss

in a different way and so depending on

the depth of the relationship it may

take them a considerable amount of time

to process and deal with the grief of

the loss if you know somebody who is

dealing with the death of a loved one or

they need to comfort somebody who's

experienced loss for free to share this

video with them also if you haven't done

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subscribe check out some of the other

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your thoughts leave them in the comments

section below thank you all so much for

watching I'll see you next time on the